How to Stop Being Jealous of Someone Else’s Success

Jealousy is inevitable. But are you affected by it negatively? Understanding how to stop being jealous can help you control your own life and live better. Jealousy is an emotion that’s as natural as falling in love or finding someone attractive.While jealously is at times inevitable, it should never be turned into an obsession.All of us feel jealous at some time or the other.As long as it’s a passing thought that doesn’t torment you, you have nothing to worry about.

But if it’s something that controls how you feel, and comes in the way of your everyday life, you really need to find a way to stop being jealous and control the emotion before it overpowers your life.

What is jealousy?

Have you ever felt upset for no reason at all when a friend achieves something you’ve always wanted? If someone else’s happiness or achievements bother you, even when it has nothing to do with you, you’re probably experiencing jealousy.

At work or in the classrooms, we’ve had to deal with people who have always had better fortune while you were given the short end of the stick.

While it’s alright to get upset about someone else’s success that leads to your loss, the emotion of anger or failure shouldn’t show up along with jealousy.

How to stop being jealous

Jealousy will never help you. You may feel jealous of a friend for hooking up with a gorgeous arm candy or because they got promoted. But how is that jealousy ever going to change anything in your own life?

You could ponder over it or spend hours every day plotting revenge or hating someone because they are better than you or luckier than you. But you’re only wasting your own life, while this person who is the object of your jealousy wouldn’t even give you a thought.

At the end of the day, jealousy won’t help you and it definitely won’t leave you in a better place.Some people are gifted with better abilities, and some people work hard. And all said and done, dedication and passion can help you achieve the same thing too.

On the other hand, jealousy will blind you and force you to spend hours fantasizing about circumstances that’ll never materialize. You’re still going to be the same person you are now even after whiling away hours or days in jealous thoughts and ideas.

Ways to stop being jealous of someone else

If you feel like you’re obsessed with someone else’s success or failures, there’s a good chance that you’re jealous.

Use these ways to stop being jealous and divert all the negative energy into something positive that can ultimately help you lead a better life.

#1 Don’t live in a world of comparisons. In this world where everyone’s lives are open for all to see through social networks, it’s easy to constantly compare yourself with your peers and competitors.

While healthy competition is a good sign, blatant jealousy isn’t. If you want to be successful in life, be your own competition. Compare your own past and try to get better every single day. It’ll help you become the best you can be without falling prey to petty jealousy.

#2 Your achievements matter. Celebrate your own achievements, however small they may be. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You can’t hate someone else because they’re famous or earning a lot more than you are. At some point, they were in the same place as you.

Life isn’t easy. But with serious effort and dedication, you can achieve your own dreams. Base your happiness on your own achievements and not someone else’s achievements, or you’ll find yourself angry and bitter all the time.

#3 Be passionate about your life. Love yourself and respect your own life. If you’re not happy, choose a new career path that you love. When you respect yourself, you won’t get jealous anymore. You may be envious, but not jealous because you believe in your own capabilities. If someone else is better than you, it’s a reason to envy them and work harder, not become jealous and wish them ill.

#4 Ask yourself the truth. Why does it bother you if some other person achieves something better than you? There are so many people in the world. Why are you associating all your jealousy and triumphs with just this one person? Aren’t you being small minded and stagnated by worrying over petty fights when there’s a whole world of opportunities out there?

#5 The world is unfair. Deal with it. Some people have better lives and better opportunities. What are you going to do about it? You can’t do a thing other than create your own successes. Fantasizing about your jealousy will take you nowhere. You know that already, don’t you?

#6 Stop wishing you were someone else. You’re not. And you will not become someone else with wishful thinking. Unless you consciously work towards achieving more, you’ll spend the rest of your life bitter and fragile because your happiness doesn’t come from your own success, but from watching someone else’s downfall.

#7 Everyone has their highs and lows. Life isn’t always perfect. While you may be jealous of someone, there may be many other areas where you have a better life. Be realistic and see the truth as it is. All of us fail some and we win some. When you realize that you have a great life too, you’ll be able to stop being jealous all the time.

#8 Don’t lose your life. When you focus on jealousy, you’re losing your own real life because you’re too busy thinking about someone else’s glories or happy moments. You could hate someone else because they’re prettier or get more attention, but what you don’t realize is that your life has stagnated and nothing will ever change unless you do something about your own flaws and shortcomings.

#9 Be positive. Be confident and pursue your own dreams. Jealousy is a way of accepting failure. Why are you jealous? Don’t you think you are capable of achieving the same pleasures as the object of your jealousy some day? Jealousy is your mind’s subconscious way of giving up and whining about how unfair life is. Don’t succumb to it. Instead, go out there and prove that you’re better.

#10 Jealousy comes from fear. What are you afraid of? Almost always, jealousy stems from a deep fear that you may never achieve the same thing. The more you’re jealous, the more you’re convincing yourself that you’ll be no good. Unless you do something about it, you’ll spend the rest of your life feeling bitter and hateful. Turn that jealousy into determination, without ever giving up and you’ll definitely stop being jealous all the time.

A tiny amount of jealousy is acceptable. But if it you feel like your jealousy is slipping out of control, understand what jealousy really is and how it’ll cripple your life from the inside.

Ugandan Maid who physically Assaulted child explains why she did that.

Speaking from Luzira Prison, Tumuhirwe (22) who goes to court on the 8th of December and is likely to face attempted murder charges is quoted saying:

“My dad in Kabale was very sick and my mom did not have any money. I asked my bosses for some money to send to my dad but they told me that I hadn’t made a month yet and my father was dying, so it kept on haunting me. That is the more reason I referred the anger to the baby but I’m sorry.

“But that madam (Arnella’s mom) is not easy. She used to say that I steal money from the clothes and Eric’s wallet, I eat the babies food…and yet I can’t eat the food, I’m not a baby, those were all lies, so, I was also not happy from my heart.”

“I feel guilty..ok when I was doing it I thought I was disciplining the baby because also the mother sometimes slaps her, I also saw from the mom. The torch I used was small and it’s not hard. I think, I will never do it again”

How are other prisoners treating her?

“It’s not good at all even my fellow prisoners don’t want to associate with me, they want to beat me up. In fact they were saying that I should join them in their rooms, nobody likes me and I’m feeling bad I will never do it again, I ask the world to forgive me and also tell the bosses who have maids to treat them well.”

In the shocking video that has since gone viral Tumuhirwe batters the baby with a hard object on the face. When the child starts vomiting, the video shows the maid throwing her heartlessly on the floor of the living room.

She then beats her with a hard object before standing on the baby’s back several times and the toddler groaned in pain on the floor.

Let see what spurns out after December 8.

A Letter to my Maker- Poetry

Hapless beholder, I am armed
With patience, prudence and prayers
Though demanding water
Of different sort

No seed survives
Too much water
Nor yet too little
None sprouts before its time
None also delays a second longer

The  Street
Built to please the eye and subserve the foot
Our streets are no longer beauty domain
With dust untamed by asphalt, grass or tar
Potholes filled and re-filled with loose red earth
Our streets are open with trash cans

Man traps, roads unworthy of vehicles
Shops spill their plastic contents
Like dismembered pregnant uteri

The street is an extension of homes
It is market , battlefield, play-pen, loo
It is the living, dinning and guest room
The street is unforgiving and for some
It is the suite and the  final berth

Come and see  where I live
My dear people, you ought to know
Here my driftwood body has beached
Ask not which currents dumped me there
Nor which tides shall bear me next

Nothing has changed
No, nothing at all has changed
The day the butchers came in jeeps
And drove away the sacrificial lamb

In my country, developing country
Arrival is  not a problem
But survival

I will excel or rather die trying

Above all, LORD
Make me know how much loving there is to do
Make me know how much I have been loved
Make me know how little I have loved
Make me know how, by myself, I am incapable of loving anything
Or anyone but myself
LORD, make me know that YOU loved me first
And will continue loving me till the end of time

Man jailed 22 years for defiling minor in church urinal

An Accra Circuit Court on Thursday sentenced a 30-year-old unemployed man, Jonathan Koomson, to 22 years imprisonment for defiling a three-year-old girl at a church urinal.

Koomson, charged with defilement, pleaded guilty and was convicted on his own plea.

The physically-challenged convict broke down when the sentence was handed down by the court presided over by Mrs. Rita Agyman-Budu.

Assistant Superintendent of Police (ASP) Adiza Suleman, prosecuting told the court that the complainant was the victim’s mother who resides at Dansoman in Accra.

ASP Suleman said Koomson resides at an area known as IBE in Mamprobi, Accra.

On August 31, this year the complainant went to church with the victim and as usual sent the victim to Sunday school class while she (the complainant) proceeded to the church auditorium.

According to the prosecution, the victim later went to the urinal and met the accused person on the corridor and told him that she wanted to urinate.

As the victim was squatting, Koomson also squatted and inserted his penis into the victim’s vagina.

In Koomson’s cautioned statement, ASP Suleman said he admitted inserting his penis into the victim’s vagina but denied that he discharged semen into the victim’s vagina.

Following a complainant lodged with the Police, ASP Suleman said a medical form was issued to the victim to enable her visit the hospital for examination and treatment.

Source: GNA

How to Stop Complaining

Perhaps the most important step in quitting the habit of complaining is to disconnect the undesirable behavior from your identity.  A common mistake chronic complainers make is to self-identify with the negative thoughts running through their minds.  Such a person might admit, “I know I’m responsible for my thoughts, but I don’t know how to stop myself from thinking negatively so often.”  That seems like a step in the right direction, and to a certain degree it is, but it’s also a trap.  It’s good to take responsibility for your thoughts, but you don’t want to identify with those thoughts to the point you end up blaming yourself and feeling even worse.

A better statement might be, “I recognize these negative thoughts going through my mind.  But those thoughts are not me.  As I raise my awareness, I can replace those thoughts with positive alternatives.”  You have the power to recondition your thoughts, but the trick is to keep your consciousness out of the quagmire of blame.  Realize that while these thoughts are flowing through your mind, they are not you.  You are the conscious conduit through which they flow.

Mental conditioning

Although your thoughts are not you, if you repeat the same thoughts over and over again, they will condition your mind to a large extent.  It’s almost accurate to say that we become our dominant thoughts, but I think that’s taking it a bit too far.

Consider how the foods you eat condition your body.  You aren’t really going to become the next meal you eat, but that meal is going to influence your physiology, and if you keep eating the same meals over and over, they’ll have a major impact on your body over time.  Your body will crave and expect those same foods.  However, your body remains separate and distinct from the foods you eat, and you’re still free to change what you eat, which will gradually recondition your physiology in accordance with the new inputs.

This is why negative thinking is so addictive.  If you keep holding negative thoughts, you condition your mind to expect and even crave those continued inputs.  Your neurons will even learn to predict the reoccurrence of negative stimuli.  You’ll practically become a negativity magnet.

The trap of negative thinking

This is a tough situation to escape because it’s self-perpetuating, as anyone stuck in negative thinking knows all too well.  Your negative experiences feed your negative expectations, which then attract new negative experiences.

In truth most people who enter this pattern never escape it in their entire lives.  It’s just that difficult to escape.  Even as they rail against their own negativity, they unknowingly perpetuate it by continuing to identify with it.  If you beat yourself up for being too negative, you’re simply reinforcing the pattern, not breaking out of it.

I think most people who are stuck in this trap will remain stuck until they experience an elevation in their consciousness.  They have to recognize that they’re trapped and that continuing to fight their own negativity while still identifying with it is a battle that can never be won.  Think about it.  If beating yourself up for being too whiny was going to work, wouldn’t it have worked a long time ago?  Are you any closer to a solution for all the effort you’ve invested in this plan of attack?

Consequently, the solution I like best is to stop fighting and surrender.  Instead of resisting the negativity head-on, acknowledge and accept its presence.  This will actually have the effect of raising your consciousness.

Overcoming negativity

You can actually learn to embrace the negative thoughts running through your head and thereby transcend them.  Allow them to be, but don’t identify with them because those thoughts are not you.  Begin to interact with them like an observer.

It’s been said that the mind is like a hyperactive monkey.  The more you fight with the monkey, the more hyper it becomes.  So instead just relax and observe the monkey until it wears itself out.

Recognize also that this is the very reason you’re here, living out your current life as a human being.  Your reason for being here is to develop your consciousness.  If you’re mired in negativity, your job is to develop your consciousness to the point where you can learn to stay focused on what you want, to create positively instead of destructively.  It may take you more than a lifetime to accomplish that, and that’s OK.  Your life is always reflecting back to you the contents of your consciousness.  If you don’t like what you’re experiencing, that’s because your skill at conscious creation remains underdeveloped.  That’s not a problem though because you’re here to develop it.  You’re experiencing exactly what you’re supposed to be experiencing so you can learn.

Conscious creation

If you need a few more lifetimes to work through your negativity, you’re free to take your time.  Conscious creation is a big responsibility, and maybe you don’t feel ready for it yet.  So until then you’re going to perpetuate the pattern of negative thinking to keep yourself away from that realization.  You must admit that the idea of being the primary creator of everything in your current reality is a bit daunting.  What are you going to make of your life?  What if you screw up?  What if you make a big mess of everything?  What if you try your best and fail?  Those self-doubts will keep you in a pattern of negativity as a way of avoiding that responsibility.

Unfortunately, this escapism has consequences.  The only way true creators can deny responsibility for their creations is to buy into the illusion that they aren’t really creating any of it.  This means you have to turn your own creative energy against yourself.  You’re like a god using his powers to become powerless.  You use your strength to make yourself weak.

The reason you may be stuck in a negative thought pattern right now is that at some point, you chose it.  You figured the alternative of accepting full responsibility for everything in your reality would be worse.  It’s too much to handle.  So you turned your own thoughts against yourself to avoid that awesome responsibility.  And you’ll continue to remain in a negative manifestation pattern until you’re ready to start accepting some of that responsibility back onto your plate.

Negativity needn’t be a permanent condition.  You still have the freedom to choose otherwise.  In practice this realization normally happens in layers of unfolding awareness.  You begin to accept and embrace more and more responsibility for your life.

Assuming total responsibility

You see… the real solution to complaining is responsibility.  You must say to the universe (and mean it), “I want to accept more responsibility for everything in my experience.”

Here are some examples of what I mean by accepting responsibility:

  • If I’m unhappy, it’s because I’m creating it.
  • If there’s a problem in the world that bothers me, I’m responsible for fixing it.
  • If someone is in need, I’m responsible for helping them.
  • If I want something, it’s up to me to achieve it.
  • If I want certain people in my life, I must attract and invite them to be with me.
  • If I don’t like my present circumstances, I must end them.

On the flip side, it may also help to take responsibility for all the good in your life.  The good stuff didn’t just happen to you.  You created it.  Well done.

Pat yourself on the back for what you like, but don’t feel you must pretend to enjoy what you clearly don’t like.  But do accept responsibility for all of it… to the extent you’re ready to do so.

Complaining is the denial of responsibility.  And blame is just another way of excusing yourself from being responsible.  But this denial still wields its own creative power.

Conscious creation is indeed an awesome responsibility.  But in my opinion it’s the best part of being human.  There’s just no substitute for creating a life of joy, even if it requires taking responsibility for all the unwanted junk you’ve manifested up to this point.

When you catch yourself complaining, stop and ask yourself if you want to continue to deny responsibility for your reality or to allow a bit more responsibility back onto your plate.  Maybe you’re ready to assume more responsibility, and maybe you aren’t, but do your best to make that decision consciously.  Do you want sympathy for creating what you don’t want, or do you want congratulations for creating what you do want?

Hearts of Oak revenue drops 73

Ghanaian giants Hearts of Oak have announced a record 73% drop in revenue for the 2013/14 football season.

The revelation was made when the former African club champions held their 4th Annual General Meeting to consider financial statements and reports for the 2013/14 financial year and league season on Wednesday.

Giving the current picture of the state of the club, board Chairman Togbe Afede XIV attributed the drop in revenue to lack of transfer market activity as well as the inability to attract sponsorship during the 2013/14 football season.

“For the year ended 30th June 2014, revenues reduced drastically by 73% from GHS 986,623 ($310,866) to GH?262,102 ($82,617) in 2013/14,” he announced.

“This was partly because the club could not make any revenue from the transfer market coupled with the lack of sponsorship in the 2013/14 financial year,” the Chairman of the Phobian club explained.

Hearts of Oak currently has about 70 people on payroll, also incurred GHC 2,071,548 ($6,358,265) in General and Administrative expenses for the 2013/14 financial year. Shareholders fund however increased by 100% to GHC 3,825,084 ($1,205,703).

Income generated from the sale of duo Nuru Sulley (to Libya’s Al-Ittihad) and Winful Cobbinah (to Najran SC in Saudi Arabia), were not captured as the transactions occurred outside the accounting period.

-Source: supersport.com

Elikem confesses -I had an affair with Odartey Lamptey’s wife

Elikem Kumordzie of Big Brother Africa fame has confessed to having an affair with the wife of former Black Stars player, Odartey Lamptey.

This is a retraction to his earlier outburst and vehement denial of the affair when news broke about the infidelity of Odartey Lampety’s wife which allegedly produced illegitimate children.

I had an affair with Gloria Lamptey for 4 years before Big Brother.i tried to start a new life with Pokello but it seems my past won’t allow

— elikem Kumordzie (@ElikemTheTailor) November 30, 2014

This news led to a messy media war and a subsequent divorce between the couple. Names began popping up in the media about the rumoured lovers of Gloria Lamptey; a list which included Elikem of Big Brother Africa fame. His girlfriend from the Big Brother House, Pokello Nare from Zimbabwe stood by his side to discount his rumoured affair with Mrs Lamptey. But in a series of tweets on this Sunday, the Big Brother star admitted having the affair with Mrs Lmaptey for four years.

According to him, Pokello broke off their relationship three months ago because ex-Mrs Lamptey was harassing her.

I do pray things turn out smoothly for him!

Real Madrid ditch Christian CROSS on logo after deal with Middle East bank

In a rather shocking announcement on Thursday, Real Madrid revealed that they will no longer have a small Christian cross on their logo.

The reigning European champions have signed a huge three-year “strategic alliance” deal with the National Bank of Abu Dhabi and will in turn change their logo to not offend their new partners.

Their logo will remain the same in Europe, but with a huge commercial drive about to get underway in the United Arab Emirates the Spanish club believed it would be better to not offend the Muslim beliefs of the UAE.

This move will shock many fans of the Spanish powerhouse, as Real have been in existence since 1902 and have had the royal crown (with a Christian cross on it) on their logo since 1920 but it was removed from 1930-1941. Since 1941 the Christian cross has remained, but now Real will have a different badge in the UAE.

Spanish publication Marca state that “the club is willing to compromise on aspects of its identity in pursuit of these new fans.” Have they got a point?

With the world becoming a smaller place all the time and with the biggest teams int he world signing sponsorship deals with companies from many difference countries where many different religions are commonplace, should their identity be altered in this way?

Yes, the cross will only be removed in the Middle East. But should Real have to do that?

Source: Hamptonroads.com

Baby Born with his Heart Outside His Chest

A baby boy born with his heart outside of his chest has stunned doctors by surviving into his sixth day.

The child stunned medics to overcome the odds despite suffering from ectopia cordis – an incredibly rare heart condition.

The miracle tot’s parents have launched a desperate appeal to help him live longer after he was born in Uttar Pradesh state on Wednesday.

Although the chances of him surviving past his third day was less than one in a million, the as-yet-unnamed tot is in need of private health care and a vital but expensive operation.

But parents Priyanka, 24, and Nirbhay Pal, 31, earn less than £3 a day and have no way of funding the treatment required for their first child.

Dad Nirbhay said: “The doctors said we should go to a private hospital and get surgery done.

“But I am a poor man. We can barely afford two square meals a day. I don’t know what to do. We are hoping that the government will help us.”

Ectopia cordis can cause the heart to protrude anywhere from the neck to the lower abdomen, and affects as few as eight in every one million births.

Unfortunately, 90 per cent of these are either stillborn or dying within three days.

10 African Countries with the Most Ugliest Women

Beauty they say lies in the eyes of the beholder and so is ugliness but when there are a lot of eyes beholding anybody as ugly, it becomes a more generalized  opinion. There are definitely some countries that have more ugly people than others across Africa, in such African countries, you find a higher concentration of those who refuse to appeal to the eyes of many beholders as you continue.

1. Kenya

2. Ethiopia

3. Uganda

4. Ghana

5. Burkina Faso

6. Rwanda

7. Botswana

8. Burundi

9. Guinea Bissau

10. Mozambique